As of today it has been 9 years, 4 months and 14 days since Nevaeh passed. Nine years that somehow still feel like yesterday. I have found that in a lot of ways I have been stuck there in the past. In my mind everyone is the same as they were then; so when I see people from then, especially Vae's friends and teammates, it's a tiny shock to the system to realize they are adults now. Working, in college, etc.
There is a new generation of children in my circle, including my 9 month old son, Nevaeh's brother, that never met Vae but that know her from pictures and stories that we all pass down. They celebrate her life with us and talk of her with love. We just celebrated her 19th birthday at one of our favorite summer spots and I can't help but wonder...about how she would look, how different her voice would sound, whether she would be taller than me, what college she would be going to and for what. Would she still want to be a dentist or veterinarian?
Time is a funny thing. It stands still and flies by all at the same time. I have come to realize that in the passage of all this time I am still very much in the grieving process. I don't think it will ever stop. There is no getting over it. Whatever the heck than even means. This is a process that is never ending BUT it is forever morphing.
Depression and anxiety are fickle in that you don't even realize how they are affecting you. Things get hard and you slowly just give up. You procrastinate and 3 years go by. You start something and never finish.
It's time to kick myself in the butt and back to work. Wish me luck.
Tassia
There is a new generation of children in my circle, including my 9 month old son, Nevaeh's brother, that never met Vae but that know her from pictures and stories that we all pass down. They celebrate her life with us and talk of her with love. We just celebrated her 19th birthday at one of our favorite summer spots and I can't help but wonder...about how she would look, how different her voice would sound, whether she would be taller than me, what college she would be going to and for what. Would she still want to be a dentist or veterinarian?
Time is a funny thing. It stands still and flies by all at the same time. I have come to realize that in the passage of all this time I am still very much in the grieving process. I don't think it will ever stop. There is no getting over it. Whatever the heck than even means. This is a process that is never ending BUT it is forever morphing.
Depression and anxiety are fickle in that you don't even realize how they are affecting you. Things get hard and you slowly just give up. You procrastinate and 3 years go by. You start something and never finish.
It's time to kick myself in the butt and back to work. Wish me luck.
Tassia